Emotional Eating: How to Let Go of the Guilt and Devise a Plan

If there was ever a year that emotional eating seemed apropos it would be this one. While I write this, I am awaiting the Ohio governor’s latest COVID-19 update with a glass of wine in one hand and a large bucket of peanut butter filled pretzel nuggets next to my keyboard. As a parent starting my own fitness business, there are many questions running through my head. Should I send the kids to school, where the spread will likely be increased? If I do not send them, can I grow this business and simultaneously help them with online learning too? Neither of those questions have definitive answers, and they are certainly not solved by delicious carbs and wine, but here I am. Salud.

Using food to treat stress, anxiety, and boredom can set us up for a vicious cycle. Instead of feeling better after emotional eating, we actually feel worse. That low is sometimes met with a) eating more, thus continuing the cycle or b) starving ourselves as punishment, which sets us up for eating disorders. In either scenario we are disrupting our chemical balance rather than reinforcing healthy habits for ourselves.

Many of the foods that we tend to overeat to deal with stress actually put more stress on our bodies. White flour and sugar are linked to rises in blood sugar and therefore higher levels of cortisol—a stress hormone. Alcohol can temporarily soothe us but it also causes a decrease in serotonin, a hormone associated with good mood. Excessive salt can lead to fluid retention, higher blood pressure, and hypertension, stressing the heart.

There is generally an immediate comfort associated with these foods, even if we know that comfort is truly fleeting. Identifying the triggers that cause you to seek comfort in food, and therefore emotionally overeat, is important. So is understanding the difference between true hunger and emotional hunger.

True hunger is gradual and when you are physically hungry, most food sounds good, including the healthier options. Emotional hunger comes on suddenly, is overwhelming, and usually manifests as a craving for something specific. (Well hello there, chips and ice cream!) Emotional eating isn’t satisfied when you are full because it originates from your mind, not your belly. Emotional eating can trigger feelings of shame, guilt, and powerlessness. Those feelings can unfortunately cause us to desire the comfort of food and drink once again, continuing the cycle.

So, what to do?

First, we need to remove the emotional component from food. Food is fuel: not a reward or punishment.

We need carbohydrates, fats, and proteins to survive. No food in and of itself is inherently “bad.” By removing the moral and immoral associations we have with food, we take the emotional power away from our fuel sources. We can enjoy our fuel, and we do not have to force ourselves to eat things we do not like just because they are deemed wonder foods. (Kale, I’m sorry—but it’s you, not me.) It is important, however to find the right balance of the foods we need to keep our machines running smoothly. If we look at food as fuel, we can form a better relationship with the choices we make, create a “budget” we can stick to, and make allowances for treats as well.

Second, we need to identify our triggers and create a pathway to alternatives to food and drink for comfort.

If you are depressed or lonely… maybe call a relative or a friend to talk. Play with a pet if you have one. Take a walk around the park and compliment a stranger.

If you are stressed or anxious… exercise! Put on some fun music and dance in your kitchen. Take a quick walk or run. Get in some lifts or squeeze a stress ball.

If you are tired and feeling exhausted… light some candles and treat yourself to a bath. Do some gentle stretches. Have a cup of tea.

If you are bored… read a book, watch some comedy routines, or write.

Finally, I want to mention a very important mood boosting hormone: serotonin. In addition to those feel-good qualities, serotonin is key for gut health and is linked to better memory. Women produce lower levels of this hormone than men, so we especially have to look at ways to help our bodies to produce it for us. Luckily, there are several ways to increase serotonin production.

Move daily. Not only is 30 minutes of exercise 5 times a week good for your overall health, but it will also stimulate your production of serotonin. Breaking this into smaller sessions throughout the day (two 15-minute workouts, three 10-minute workouts, etc) is absolutely fine.

Alter your diet. Complex carbohydrates, fatty omega 3’s, dark leafy greens, yogurts, and turkey are all great sources to aid in better gut health.

Light exposure. As little as 15 minutes of sunlight a day can boost your mood. Concerns about skin cancer are very real and safety precautions should be taken when enjoying the outdoors. If you have concerns about sunlight exposure, perhaps consider light therapy.

I know firsthand that emotional eating and drinking is a difficult habit to break. I want to help you (and myself in the process!) look at our daily food intake and movement in a very practical and logical way. When we remove the emotion from food, create a plan that we can envision working for us, and identify strategies we can use when we are tempted to go off script, we create a structure for individualized success.

We’ll talk more about our diet as a budget in the future. For now, please give yourself the grace you seek.

You are worth it.