Ten (okay eleven) realizations I have had in the last 30 days.

I’m sure there are more than 11, because let’s face it, I’ve had a lot more time to think in the last month. Or maybe the list stops at 11 because my ability to remember and make sense of my thoughts is now much lower. And that’s ok. It’s totally fine to be the okayest version of you right now. I’m right there with you. Solidarity from afar, guys. 

Would love to hear everyone’s takeaways from this crazy time, so please drop your thoughts my way anytime you like. 

So, for my list so far....

Togetherness 

1. My husband and I are really good at different things. When we let each other run our lanes without interference we are dangerously efficient.  However, both of us are also stubborn and are often convinced we know a lot more than we actually do about each other’s lanes, so there’s that. 

2. Kids need to work out their issues themselves. It is difficult for me to let go. Boys fight a lot. And they are loud. But I’ve heard folklore that they will get along when they are older. 

3. My kids like Monopoly. I do not. Why is that game so so ridiculously long? I do not sit well and now I understand why they do not either. (Can we please just play Clue or Sorry?) The bottom line is it’s ok to not feel joy in every moment. 

4. There are precisely 73 hours in a quarantine day.  71 of those are hours the kids need mom for something. The most persistent needs are usually while she is trying to shower, study, work, exercise or cook. (Yes, yes, yes, I cook with them sometimes, but other times I just want a properly cooked dinner and 45 minutes of peace in the kitchen, ok? 😆) 

5. Teachers are incredibly underpaid.

Food 

6. Without being able to run to the store every other day, I now know exactly how much produce, protein, milk, and dry goods our quarantine unit needs for 7 days (or 10).  And I mean exactly. When this is over, I’ll hopefully waste way less time and money in the grocery store. I’ve always loved to bake and I’ve learned I’m decent cook too. It’s amazing what this time can afford. 

7. I’ve felt the stress and defeat of NOT being able to get what we need at the store and having to figure out an alternative— and know this is the everyday normal for those less fortunate. My heart aches for those that also know exactly what their families need for a week but cannot afford to get it... even during non-pandemic times. We have donated to the Mid-Ohio Worker Association’s food bank and vow to continue to do so monthly. 

8. Wearing a mask while in the store and in public makes me feel sad. I know it is the right thing to do. It’s for others as much as it is for me. But I still hate it. It feels cold. And heavy. 

Life

9. An exercise routine is important for everyone’s health (but I really mostly mean MY exercise routine). Of course the kids should move too, but I’m speaking to our need for a respite that we can hold sacred every day. For you it might not be exercise. It might be reading, writing, taking a bath, woodworking, etc. Whatever it is, figure out a way to include it in your routine for 30 minutes a day. Minimum. Encourage your children (or other quarantine partners) to find that 30 minutes of a respite activity as well. Coloring, creative play, FaceTime with a friend. It’s good for everyone!

10. I’m very fortunate, no doubt, and yet I still get frustrated. I crave alone time.... and social time... and time to be out and about among strangers. It’s a weird contradiction.  All of my internal whining made me feel guilty for a while because I didn’t think I deserved to feel that way. I wanted to put on the happy vibe! But now I’m realizing EVERYONE feels this way. Let the feelings flow through you, stop pushing them away and do the best you can as you go. 

11. Man often searches for meaning. In these uncertain times we are all trying to figure out what success looks like: what can we do to contribute? To be productive? To be happy? This is true from our oldest members of society to our youngest. We need purpose. Find your purpose, and help others find theirs. Kids can and should be doing chores, but remember to praise the effort, not the product.  Perfection is an illusion even in normal conditions. Let it go. Good enough is good enough. Take the pressure off of yourself, lower the bar a little, and just do what you can when you can. And always, always give yourself grace. 

With love, 

Missi