Treating a Push Like a Win

If you have ever played blackjack in a casino, you have no doubt had the elation of a win, the disappointment of a loss... and then there is the “push.” A push is when you and the dealer have matching quantities. You have not won the hand to make money but the casino doesn’t take your money either. While it technically is a tie, I’ve always considered it a win. I have gotten the chance to see a few more cards come out of the shoe, I still have my money, and I now have an opportunity to play again or walk away with the same amount of cash I had one hand ago. 

I am not a gambler but even I miss the thrill of this game of chance and the camaraderie of new friends and old as we tried our luck. Life certainly has tossed us a few things to mimic the elation and loss of this table game, but right now more often than not, I’m feeling the seeming pause of the ‘push’.

Seeing this pic quote a few days ago really struck a nerve. In its simplest sense, it’s about sacrificing your impulsive desires for a greater goal. I’m down with that in a big-picture way. I’ve never been draconian with my diet and exercise routine, but at my base I make mostly healthy choices and I’ve seen the results. 

But this quote left a bitter aftertaste. One that made me see it with an alternate lens. The truth is that right now I’m tired. A lot of what I want right now is to get back to normal, to go back in time, to be able to relax a little and not overthink every damn decision. Becoming a better athlete or a successful trainer or keeping up momentum toward any other big life goal seems like too much to consider. Right now, what I want most is to not lose what I had before this pandemic started.

That doesn’t seem so bad, right? It’s not like those are such indulgent things to want. But it doesn’t always seem like it’s enough, either.

This is when I decided a push could also be a win, in life.

I had a friend drop a truth bomb on me last week. It came at a time when I was irritated but also recognizing I have it better than most. It felt like my frustration took away from my sense of gratitude—like it somehow muted it—and I felt guilty about that.

Her comment was, “Missi, you can be both frustrated and appreciative, you know. You don’t have to choose either/or. It’s a both/and situation.”

Whoa.

We can be BOTH appreciative of what we have AND frustrated by what we miss. Adopting a “both/and” philosophy means recognizing that we can have conflicting feelings swirling around at once—and we should acknowledge and honor them all.  Give them space to simmer.

You are allowed to both embrace cooking at home—even enjoy it—and also be tired of the seemingly endless kitchen tasks. 

You are allowed to both feel blessed for the extra time with family at home and also desperately crave alone time or time away.

You are allowed to be both annoyed by the inundation of health tips and videos on social media and also excited to try an online exercise class. 

You are allowed to be both grateful for teachers providing distance learning and also overwhelmed and frustrated by the process of teaching/supporting your children with distance learning. 

You are allowed to be both a badass and a sobbing mess. 

Cry. Laugh. Feel anger. Feel joy. But let go of the guilt. Let go of your old expectations. Go ahead and treat a push like it’s a win. 

Under normal circumstances, of course you should strive for what you want most, work hard, and be disciplined in pursuit of your major goals. But since so many of us are in a state of sacrifice already, sacrificing even more at this particular moment may not be attainable or even healthy.

The truth is that many of us are in a defensive posture right now. We’re fighting just so we won’t lose too much ground. Suddenly we have to re-solve problems we thought we had already solved and moved on from—basic problems like how to educate our kids, how to feed our families, even how to have safe, courteous everyday social interactions. It can be tough to remember sometimes, but when we are working on those things we are working toward our larger goals.

Right now, many of us are playing for a push. In times like these, we can and should celebrate breaking even.

When we treat a push like a win, we recognize that we can still make our grittiest efforts in the things that matter most, while giving ourselves the grace to set aside the things that do not.

Treating a push like a win means approaching our goals with that gritty kind of grace. It does not mean putting our desires on hold. Far from it! And it does not mean abandoning the race. It does mean reassessing the pace, and finding a sensible strategy to navigate the route.

The ‘push’ approach to discipline means acknowledging that if your old routine is no longer possible, you will need to adjust. You should adjust.

The 60 minutes a day of HIIT that you did pre-Covid restrictions isn’t something you can continue with your current schedule? Perhaps substitute a long walk each day, add in 5 three-minute-long body weight yoga-like movement sessions throughout your day, and skip the second scoop of ice cream for dessert.

Daily food preparation taking too much time? Consider switching to a weekly meal preparation plan to save time (and have good snack options readily available) when you need it. Or consider a meal preparation service!

If cooking or jogging or yoga is not your thing, do not try to force it to become your thing, especially when you are already stressed. Forcing something new that you do not enjoy will not benefit your overall health. You may have to play around a bit until you find your groove, and you may need to ask for help. Many people, including myself, would be happy to guide you.

Discipline may look a little different in these times, but I want to be clear: the struggles and challenges of our present do not let us off the hook with our goals and our health. Your health is your greatest asset.

Discipline is a combination of both work and sacrifice, and figuring out what you can let go of and still meet your goal. Your mental stamina and discipline will be key in helping you align what you want now and what you want most. Make a plan, ask for help when needed, believe in yourself, and stick with it.

”Health is wealth“ is not an empty phrase. Our health is our most important investment. This is as true now as it ever was. We still need to be moving every day. We still need to be eating balanced diets. These things are as important for our mental health as our physical health.

Hold the line. Keep your chin up, move every day, stay hydrated, and rest. You, my dear friend, are worth it.